How Not To Die From Stress Related Indigestion

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“This Part 2 of ‘A Gastrointestinal Journey’”

You’re in there somewhere…maybe a combination?

What does your stress look like?  Do you lose your $h!t? Or do you internalize it? Is passive aggressive your thing?  Maybe you’re a blocker and just block it out? Or maybe you’re just one of those rare people who are impervious to stress and it doesn’t phase you - Bravo! You’ll likely live the longest; maybe. 

Work-related stress generates a $190 Billion a year in healthcare costs, and is the cause of death for over 120,000 Americans a year. I decided that wasn’t for me and joined a group of Americans that’s over 100 million strong, and counting. We like to give our money to Big Pharma.  Total contributions in 2019 are almost $5 Billion dollars. Big Pharma has so much faith in us that they’ve confidently appraised all of us wound-up, concerned, irritated, tense, insecure, hyper, fearful, unhappy, edgy, heavy hearted, uptight, sad, depressed, anxious, troubled, jumpy, agitated, heartbroken, impatient, and stressed out customers with a (CAGR) Compounded Annual Growth Rate of 4.6%.  Market Reports indicate that we-the 100 million and growing strong, will surpass $6 Billion dollars by 2024, and over $18 Billion globally.

Alright, I’m talking about Antacids, NSAIDs (Non Steroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drugs), Proton Pump Inhibitors, and H2 blockers.  You and I know that life comes and goes quickly, and  before you know it we’ve racked up several hundred thousand frequent stress miles. We’re so used to it by now that some of us like myself have become a little callous to it, others of us just want to bat someone out (hit someone with a baseball bat) e.g., my cousin SIJ ;), and some patiently endure the 50 year storm of their lives in the hope that it couldn’t possibly last another year.  Who want’s to dread eating because of the symptomatic consequences?  Me - “I really feel like some ice cream”, a split second later, I courteously remind myself, “You don’t really want to poop your pants do you?”  It could be that miserable acid burning sensation in the center of your chest, or you regurgitate the sour, partially digested food in your stomach because your esophagus wont close. Need I go on? Just a few more so no-one feels left out. How bout burping, bloating, farting, nausea, constipation, diarrhea, difficulty swallowing, chest pain, hiccups, dry cough, bloody or black stools, and vomiting.

Three months ago, I opened my mouth in a meeting, and the result was a new line of business and a new division that oversees its operations and logistics.  I was promoted to Vice President of Operations and Logistics (O&L), and you know when it’s your baby, you’re all in!  I worked my butt off, and it showed.  The O&L Division was a hand picked A-Team that worked seamlessly with each other and all the other divisions within the company.  I didn’t mind the long hours or working 6 days a week. I would come in to work on Sunday for the sole purpose of preparing my team for the week ahead of them, as well as acknowledging and showing my appreciation for their dedication, work-ethic, and overall excellent disposition with personal gifts e.g., golf balls, mani-pedi’s, tickets to a show (always with a hand-written note), healthy breakfast or lunches, and from time to time a masseuse who brought in their own special chair. 

“The high was good, and the saying is true, “Your only as good as your weakest link.””

Because we were so efficient and productive, costs were down, and profits were up across the entire company. We knew we’d enter this new market eventually and my team was prepared.  What we weren’t prepared for was losing Edith  She was perfect for the promotion and overall we’d all benefit from her leadership and skill set within this new market, but still we’d lost a link in our very strong chain.  My work load quadrupled until we found a suitable replacement for Edith.  That was three months ago; still no replacement.  The work is manageable despite the stress, as for my health, not so much.  It’s not like I’m sick. It’s just a little indigestion, but that’s under control now, thank you very much antacids.

Cousin SIJ aka Staten Island Joey - About To Go To Work

Some of us are just looking for a little relief in this world; that’s all.  So when I desperately go to the pharmacy for an OTC med to alleviate my acid reflux I don’t want to find out my Zantac has been recalled because it’s been directly linked to bleeding ulcers and stomach cancer, and that it’s currently under a Class Action Suite. Fun! Think I’ll call my cousin SIJ.  Or better yet, when I go see my Doctor, and he assuredly prescribes me Nexium, Prilosec, Prevacid, and others.  “Hmmm, does he know they collectively have over 13,500 law suites against them because their drugs cause more damage than good?”

Edith and Anthony

I don’t want to end up worse than I began, and I certainly don’t want to hear it from Edith the next time she emails me.  Sure enough, at work the next morning, who do you think was in the neighborhood?  Yep, Edith.  As much as I like and respect her, I was in no mood. Her antenna must’ve been up because she made a beeline for me.  I thought to myself, “C’mon now, I just got here…coffee…aghh!“  Something was different about her this morning, she was not her chipper, upbeat, overly talkative self.  There was a calm-steadiness to her that felt eerily reminiscent of a ‘hit’ about to go down.  I greeted her with as much of a smile as I could for someone who felt like they were gonna get ‘whacked’.  My eyes peered left and right when she didn’t return the smile.  She got close, and said, “You’ve been on my heart this”, I cut her off and said, “Edith please, not now, I just want some peace and..” Her eyes interrupted and fixed on mine. I couldn’t continue my annoyed plea, and I couldn’t turn away because my eyes were in some sort of female wrestling hold. She said, “Exactly.” Perplexed, and caught off guard, I said, “What?”  Tenderly, she nodded as if I had just proven her point, and comfortingly said, “Shhh.  I know.  Here, take this”, as she handed me a business card.  Awkwardly, I thought to myself, “Here we go…did she just hand me her…” Interrupting my ego she said, “Call him, he’s a wonderful doctor.  He’s helped so many of my friends”, and she walked away.

Needless to say I filed that Doctor’s card under, “NH” (Never Happening), and continued onward in search of a suitable substitute for my stomach-cancer causing antacid. Meanwhile, I started to experience new symptoms in addition to the symptoms of acid reflux and the side effects from the meds. Initially, I didn’t mind the loss of appetite because I’ve been wanting to lose a few pounds, but then the bloating and gnawing feeling in my stomach persisted, the excessive burping got annoying, and I was already use to the continuous gas and diarrhea, but when I started to lose my hair, I had to call a time-out!  A thought came to me that was like a small voice in my head, “You gotta do something different”.  My immediate response was, “NH!” as I reached for that business card my friend Edith from work gave me.

-J. Guest Blogger